Heard It Say

Heard It Say

A collection of jokes, cartoons and celebrity quotes reflecting today’s topsy-turvy world

Hearditsay.ie

cullen@marketing.ie

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 The book’s gags were compiled by Michael Cullen, editor of Marketing.ie, with cartoons illustrations by Aidan Dowling. Published by Gregmar Books, the 104-page paperback brings together jokes, cartoons and quotes designed to evoke laughter, a wry smile and some half-serious thoughts on life. “Gags are a boost to the heart and soul, even when what’s lampooned is not be taken lightly,” Cullen says. Heard It Say satirises people and events and pokes fun at politicians, celebrities, sports stars, the clergy, pillars of society and other headline makers.

 

Obviously, Trump features prominently, but there’s also a lot of topical Irish jokes to amuse people.

 

It will be on sale in bookstores and from Gregmar Books (my signature) direct, price €9.95 – so there’s lots of time for me to try and target the market for Christmas stocking fillers.

 

 

Boris Johnson was out-manoeuvred by Michael Gove, which is the equivalent of being knocked down by your own golf buggy.

 

Eddie calls his wife the ventriloquist. She’s forever putting words in his mouth.

 

Donald Trump: “Well Vlad, in a word, how’s Russia?” “Good”, Putin replies. “And in more than one word?” Trump asks. “Not good,” Putin says.

 

Oliver Callan’s take on Ireland’s public service scandals: “Heads never really roll, they simply roll in it.”

 

Diarmuid Gavin plants his veg in alphabetical order. Where does he find the thyme? It’s right next to the sage.   

 

An elephant walks into the Forty Foot and sees a naked bather. He asks the man: “How on earth do you breathe through that?”

 

If love is blind, why is Agent Provocateur so popular?

 

Pádraig Lynch now chairs the Anti-Nepotism League, a noble body founded in the 1920s by his grand-uncle. 

 

The three ages of men: youth, middle age and “my word, you look well”.  

 

Roy Keane should do the Camino. He’s well used to walking.

 

Terry Wogan was an anti-depressant with no side-effects.

 

When you work from home, you only have to sound dressed at 9.30am.

 

Wally has been found. His funeral will be held soon but no one knows where exactly. It’s how he would have wanted it.

 

May misfortune follow you always – but never catch up.

 

 

What some esteemed critics say about the book…

 

“Guaranteed to brighten up your day”

The Met Office

 

“Full of cheap take-offs”

Mick O’Leary

 

“Head-the-ball, how come you didn’t include the gag I sent you about Leo waking up the other night only to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of his bed? First he was afraid, then he was petrified”

Simon, Cork 

 

“I couldn’t put it down”

Vet in Galway  

 

Heard It Say… the cover price is €9.95. You can follow us on Facebook.

 

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